Want to boost your happiness level? Start by feeling grateful. By incorporating gratitude in your daily activities, you can create a ripple effect in all areas of your life. How to do it? Keep on reading…

Grateful for Time Wasted

Volumes have been said about the addictive nature of Facebook. Checking on your neighbourhood’s group or a quick look at your friends’ photos turns to a low battery warning flashing on your phone two hours later. But sometimes, among the click-baits and typical “look at me” posts, a truly inspiring gem pops up and makes us temporarily forgive the sins of this social media locomotive. And perhaps, just for a moment, feel grateful for its existence.

It was the gratitude and appreciation that I felt after stumbling upon the update from The Globe and Mail. Written by Sharon Kofoed and entitled “The Joy of ‘Thank You,” it tells a story how writing and delivering hand written thank-you cards had created a ripple effect in the author’s life and in the lives of people close to her, including her students. I couldn’t help smiling and nodding my head while reading this article. Sharon’s essay not only warmed my heart, but also delivered a perfect illustration for one of the positive psychology’s staple claims: gratitude boosts one’s happiness.

What Is Gratitude?

Gratitude is more than an action, it is an emotion, according to positive psychology understanding. Feeling grateful is a state of expressing appreciation for what one has. The active component of gratitude is emphasized in the Harvard Medical School definition.

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.

There are many studies showing that deliberately cultivating gratitude one can increase well-being and happiness. It helps relish good experiences, improve health, including lowering depression. Feeling grateful increases resilience (by dealing with adversity in a creative way). It also enables building strong relationships. Martin Seligman, one of positive psychology’s founding fathers, says the following about gratitude:

Gratitude can make your life happier and more satisfying. When we feel gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event in our life. Also, when we express our gratitude to others, we strengthen our relationship with them.

Gratitude in Practice

Positive psychologists actively promote the cultivation of gratitude on a regular basis. One of the staple exercises for expressing one’s gratitude is to write a thank-you note. The mere fact of physically expressing gratitude towards another person lifts one’s mood. However, writing and delivering it in person (Gratitude Visit) yields the most benefits.

It doesn’t matter if the letter will be delivered in person, or simply locked in one’s drawer, it has to be specific. In his book, “Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being”, Seligman provides the following tips on writing the thank-you letter:

The letter should be concrete and about three hundred words: be specific about what she did for you and how it affected your life. Let her know what you are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did. Make it sing!

By carrying out this exercise, we will notice the increase of our happiness level in less than 30 days. Sounds impossible? Well, this intervention has been studied – and tested – in great detail. The the results showed that participants who engaged in the letter-writing exercise reported more happiness for one month after the intervention compared to a control group.

Be Grateful for Your Teachers

I’m not sure whether Sharon Kofoed has heard of positive psychology, but she surly is practicing its interventions. In her own business English class she has proven the powerful impact of expressed gratitude.

And since we are on the topic of teachers. During one of his lectures, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer told a story of an elementary school teacher Mrs. Thompson. For years, she had been receiving thank-you letters from a former student named Teddy. In those letters, aside from reporting on his life, Teddy had always assured that Mrs. Thompson was the best teacher he ever had. (Please pause and watch the video below).

This story, and a footnote of the book “A Primer in Positive Psychology,” prompted me to do something unusual. During my June visit to Poland, I visited my high school teachers and told them how much I had enjoyed their classes. (My absolutely favourite teacher has passed away before I could express my gratitude. I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake.)

Seeing how happy my teachers were to see me made all the reservations about visiting them irrelevant. They were genuinely interested in my life and eager to tell me about theirs. I was so glad that I followed through with this visit – I could feel that my happiness level had received a boost. So much so that even the hours spent on Facebook couldn’t diminish it.

 

5 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

How to maintain the attitude of gratitude, or cultivate gratitude on a regular basis? In the article “In Praise of Gratitude,” the authors suggest the following activities:

• Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person’s impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.
  Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thoughts about the gifts you’ve received each day.
• Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.
• Pray. People who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.
• Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as “peace”), it is also possible to focus on what you’re grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).